It Goes Like This.

I am just so, so tired.

This year has been a very long and painful journey for me. I’ve gotten a lot of personal and spiritual work done in this year off, but aside from that, I feel like I cannot get a break in anything I do. It always seems like thing are going to fuck up in some way or another. I’m weary, exceedingly so, of doing anything outside of my set patterns for fear of what it will cost me in the long run. Always, always something pops up and always, always I have to figure out a way to fix it.

And I’m just utterly exhausted by the sheer amount of energy I have to put out there.


So, I have an interview today. In all honesty, I’m rather ambiguous in how I feel about getting this job. (A) I need money coming in that is not unemployment. (B) I worry that I will lose out on the important stuff with my son, as I feel I did when I was working at my last job. (C) I worry I will lose all my forward progress with my religion.

It seems really pathetic that my pro is about making money.

So, I shall put on a power suit, practice my best hire-me smile, and wear makeup as my armor.

For Your Information…

One of the fundamental tenets of the religion I practice is best described as “tolerance.” This isn’t because I want to fall into some peace-love-harmony trap or something. I just feel that, in teaching myself this religion, being tolerant of others is necessary. Ask anyone – there are times where my ability to be tolerant is lauded as sainthood. And it doesn’t matter what aspect that tolerance takes, either. It can be of religion, skin hue, gender, sexual affiliation; anything. But just because I preach tolerance doesn’t mean that I won’t sit up and bitch slap you because you think you can bully me into what you want.

I will bite your face off first.


Yesterday was not only the commemoration of a day that has changed America, but it was also the day that two attacks happened to US Embassies in the Middle East. One attack occurred in Egypt while the other took place in Libya. That particular attack was more ferocious as it ended with the deaths of four people, one of whom happened to be the Ambassador to that particular country. These are horrific things that have taken place. The thing is that the two are being amalgamated together when they shouldn’t be. The Libyan attack appears to have something to do with extremist Muslims, either as a commemoration for the 9/11 attack eleven years ago or has to do with what the Egyptian attack appears to be: an angry protest over an anti-Islamic video making the rounds on YouTube.

No matter what the cause of the violence, the truth of the matter is that there is a low-budget flick making its rounds in which it blasphemes against Muhammad, the prophet of Islam. The man who supposedly created the film in the first place as been quoted as calling Islam a “cancer.” If nothing else, these two instances should be enough to elicit outrage and anger from any Muslim. But, it appears that not only did this film elicit such condemnation, it also materialized into acts of physical violence so brutal that people are dead because of it.

Things like this has to stop.

Yes, I mean the violence. But more importantly, I mean people who think that because we have the right to free speech can put rubbish out there and possibly cause severe violent outbreaks. I’ll admit that I doubt the creator of the film thought that such an outcry would happen. And I shall admit that we don’t really know the true story about what happened at either Embassy, or the cause therein. It could be possible that people just wanted to rage at Americans and chose that video as an easily cited source. But it doesn’t matter, really, the cause behind the violence.

What really matters to me here is that there are intolerant fucktards that are hiding behind the free speech Amendment. Not only are there intolerant douchebags hiding behind this amendment, but they’re gaining followers. There are people who believe men like the creator of the film and think that everything he says is true. The same can be said of a very famous Florida pastor who apparently viewed the film and famously burned a Koran in 2011. (I won’t use the name, but I’m sure a Google search for “pastor Koran burning” will show you who I’m talking about.) People not only believe them, but because a pastor is backing this up, they believe it is the word of God. There are men and women who have decided that what these people say is direct from God, that we should “remove” the “Muslim threat,” and honestly have no fucking clue what the hell they’re talking about. Their knowledge is (A) skewed by their own religious beliefs, (B) skewed by hate and fear, and (C) completely uncorroborated nonsense.

Over on Tumblr, I watched as quite a few people remarked about the Crusades.

Let’s remark about those “lovely wars.”

The Crusades were a bunch of wars from the 11th century to the 13th century, bent on restoring Christian access to the holy places around Jerusalem. The start of this was when the Byzantine army was decisively defeated by the Turks in the 1070s. The Byzantium emperor was worried that this would mean that soon all of Asia Minor would be overrun by the Turks and so, put out a call for aid. It didn’t help that the Turks who had overrun the area were destroying Christian sacred sites and were persecuting Christians in the area. There were a total of Nine Crusades and they ultimately failed. In the end, all Christian influence was lost in the area and those Christians who were unable to flee were ultimately massacred.

The way things are moving in this country, it’s only a matter of time before something this ASININE happens again. And it is asinine. The reason being is that we’re arguing over sacred sites and dogma; we’re arguing over belief systems and who’s religious dick is bigger. We’re all arguing over complete and utter bullshit. And it’s complete and utter bullshit because it takes away from the things that we have in common. Not only that, but it takes away from humanity, as a whole. If future generations ever are able to dig themselves out of the messes we’re creating with our RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE then they will look back and wonder, what the fuck were they thinking? It’s not just the fact that we have to sit around and kill each other because we think that one religion is better than the other.

It’s that there are people who are foaming at the mouth to get this shit done.

It’s that there are people advocating this bullshit, on either side.

This is horse manure. And I’m fucking sick of reading about it. I’m sick of looking at it. I’m sick to death of hearing about how one person is better than another because of X. Whether it be race or religion or sexual proclivities or gender assignment, there is always someone who there who is going to try to look high and mighty because of whatever reason. And this is bullshit.

No one is better than anyone else.

And this intolerance has to stop because if it doesn’t…

Just imagine all the bloodshed of the Crusades with nuclear weapons in the mix.


Since I need to “squee” in as many venues as possible…

So, last year, I had a job with a company with questionable ethical practices. The company liked to fire people for no reason, keep the people who stole from the company, and was just generally a soul-sucking void of ethical dilemmas. They had no problem throwing money at a problem to make it go away as long as that problem wasn’t keeping the good employees that were necessary to run the company. Then, they’d just fire them, try to deny them unemployment on their trumped up charge, and hire someone at a lower pay grade who did twice as much work as the last employee.

I know this for a fact since, you know, I was one of those sorry employees who was fired on trumped up charges.

So, for the last year, I’ve been job hunting. I’ve been spending a lot of my time combing through as many job listings as I can in a day. Last week, I saw something on CL that I thought sounded okay. I applied for it, but didn’t hear back. Since I’m pretty much used to the no response, I assumed I was off the list… until this morning when I was called by the Union Station Manager at a local college. He apologized for the short notice interview, but for once, I have a babysitter to hand. So, I went in.

The guy called me because he remembered me from that soul-sucking hellhole I used to work for that I whimsically refer to as “Greed Incorporated.”

He, too, was also one of those employees who had been fired on trumped up charges. And if I’m not mistaken, it was around the same time as I was fired, actually. He landed on his feet and managed to get a job in a similar sector – we worked in various convenience store chains although he has longer experiences with it than I do – with the local college. I could possibly be landing on my feet if I can pull in enough familial and friend marks to get a babysitter because some, if not all, shifts will be at night.

And that part kind of sucks, but…


So, the moral of the story is that networking does, in fact, work.