So, over on my spiritual blog, I posted a little side rant that is better off over here, actually. The specifics of it are as follows:
…anyone can make a fucking website nowadays and too often, we see all of these people going on about how “happy” they all are. (I have a point, I swear.) All the time on my Facebook page, I see people posting things about how we just have to strive for happiness and that we have to love ourselves completely and then everything else will fall into place. Excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth. That’s not what life is about, as far as I’m concerned. And no amount of meditating or learning to “love” myself is going to make my life ten times better. Even if I do suddenly realize that I am an awesome person and that I do love myself, that’s not going to make the fact that I live in a shit-box apartment, have to fix my car, am still job-less, the hubby is still job-less, and that I don’t receive handouts at all (except in the form of clothes or toys for my kid) any fucking easier to handle. I might smile a little more, though.
Now, I’ve had these discussions with BFMA on a nearly regular basis, especially in recent days. And I don’t think I ever really realized how very strongly I feel about all of this happiness tripe and love yourself tripe that everyone keeps going on about.
How can you ever, possibly, fully love yourself without ending up like Narcissus? Truly, you have to stop and think about this. Caring about your body, who you are as a person, and your idtentity as a whole is entirely different, in my eyes, from “loving yourself.” If I’m talking about how much I love who I am and what I do, then that’s one thing. Supposedly, in the grand scheme of things I’m really going on about how fucking cool I am and how everyone should be like me. But, whenever I see someone posting on FB about how the road to loving yourself is blah, blah, blah… I get to the point where I want to punch someone in the face. If my life was all about loving myself, then I’d be spending hours upon hours admiring my facce in the mirror and possibly never coming out of my bedroom because I’m too busy loving myself.
And those people who think that life’s big goal is to love yourself? HA!
That’s what I have to say to that.
And what about this happiness bullshit I’m always reading about? Life is all about happiness. Right. If that’s the case then why is there divorce, disease, death? If life is really all about being happy and the constant journey to get there, then why is there a journey to get there in the first place? I’m going to do something shocking here for a minute and point my finger at the Christian model. WE WERE CAST OUT OF EDEN, FUCKTARDS. Cast. Out. Of. Eden. That means that the happiness and joy that we would have always had when we were in the Perfect Spot is no longer an option. You might be able to achieve some perfect peace with some really awesome drug or some fasting or some meditation maneuver that I can’t possibly emulate, but you don’t stay happy. There’s nothing in life that let’s you stay happy unless you’re in a ward where they pump you full of drugs that keep you trapped in the happiest place on earth in your head.
But, you know. Sure, it’s nice sometimes to see all those people going on about how great things are. But invariably, there is something that pops up to make how great things are seem not so great. You just got a new car! But, now you have to fix it for thousands of dollars in damage that you didn’t know about. You just entered into a relationship! With a guy who has cheated on every significant other before you, but that’s okay. Keep on trucking! You just got a new job! Only to realize that you’re stuck doing the shit end of the stick because you’re the lowest man on the totem pole. Every possible thing that is happy, will invariably bring some form of non-happiness with it. And hell, sometimes that non-happiness has nothing to do with the happy situation, but it just correlates in the timeline.
I’m going to do some quoting right now and end this with…
“Life is pain, highness.” – Dread Pirate Wesley, The Princess Bride.