Ranting: Hippy-Dippy Beliefs.

So, over on my spiritual blog, I posted a little side rant that is better off over here, actually. The specifics of it are as follows:

…anyone can make a fucking website nowadays and too often, we see all of these people going on about how “happy” they all are. (I have a point, I swear.) All the time on my Facebook page, I see people posting things about how we just have to strive for happiness and that we have to love ourselves completely and then everything else will fall into place. Excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth. That’s not what life is about, as far as I’m concerned. And no amount of meditating or learning to “love” myself is going to make my life ten times better. Even if I do suddenly realize that I am an awesome person and that I do love myself, that’s not going to make the fact that I live in a shit-box apartment, have to fix my car, am still job-less, the hubby is still job-less, and that I don’t receive handouts at all (except in the form of clothes or toys for my kid) any fucking easier to handle. I might smile a little more, though.

Now, I’ve had these discussions with BFMA on a nearly regular basis, especially in recent days. And I don’t think I ever really realized how very strongly I feel about all of this happiness tripe and love yourself tripe that everyone keeps going on about.

Seriously.

How can you ever, possibly, fully love yourself without ending up like Narcissus? Truly, you have to stop and think about this. Caring about your body, who you are as a person, and your idtentity as a whole is entirely different, in my eyes, from “loving yourself.” If I’m talking about how much I love who I am and what I do, then that’s one thing. Supposedly, in the grand scheme of things I’m really going on about how fucking cool I am and how everyone should be like me. But, whenever I see someone posting on FB about how the road to loving yourself is blah, blah, blah… I get to the point where I want to punch someone in the face. If my life was all about loving myself, then I’d be spending hours upon hours admiring my facce in the mirror and possibly never coming out of my bedroom because I’m too busy loving myself.

And those people who think that life’s big goal is to love yourself? HA!

That’s what I have to say to that.

And what about this happiness bullshit I’m always reading about? Life is all about happiness. Right. If that’s the case then why is there divorce, disease, death? If life is really all about being happy and the constant journey to get there, then why is there a journey to get there in the first place? I’m going to do something shocking here for a minute and point my finger at the Christian model. WE WERE CAST OUT OF EDEN, FUCKTARDS. Cast. Out. Of. Eden. That means that the happiness and joy that we would have always had when we were in the Perfect Spot is no longer an option. You might be able to achieve some perfect peace with some really awesome drug or some fasting or some meditation maneuver that I can’t possibly emulate, but you don’t stay happy. There’s nothing in life that let’s you stay happy unless you’re in a ward where they pump you full of drugs that keep you trapped in the happiest place on earth in your head.

But, you know. Sure, it’s nice sometimes to see all those people going on about how great things are. But invariably, there is something that pops up to make how great things are seem not so great. You just got a new car! But, now you have to fix it for thousands of dollars in damage that you didn’t know about. You just entered into a relationship! With a guy who has cheated on every significant other before you, but that’s okay. Keep on trucking! You just got a new job! Only to realize that you’re stuck doing the shit end of the stick because you’re the lowest man on the totem pole. Every possible thing that is happy, will invariably bring some form of non-happiness with it. And hell, sometimes that non-happiness has nothing to do with the happy situation, but it just correlates in the timeline.

I’m going to do some quoting right now and end this with…

“Life is pain, highness.” – Dread Pirate Wesley, The Princess Bride.

6 thoughts on “Ranting: Hippy-Dippy Beliefs.

  1. You see, from personal experience, I have to disagree with all of the above.
    While it’s not in the natural order of things to preserve happiness as state of being (by definition, happiness is an high- you can’t be on that high all time unless you are on something… chemical, and even then it’s not a guarantee) – I do feel the ultimate goal is love and accept yourself. Narcissism is a form of overcompensation because it minimizestries to divert attention from your flaws/mistakes and usually hides a great deal of insecurity, but if you can genuinely look at your flaws/mistakes/hurts and say ‘i own up to them and they don’t make me to think I am less worthy of love or happiness’ , you can deal with the crap life eventually throws to you and still have a core of you that is okay, regardless of the circumstances.
    Much in the same way, if you don’t love yourself, you can have everything you want and you will still find reasons to be miserable- tiny problems will look huge, big problems will look huge, you will misread negatively any event that brings you back to that self-doubt.
    And this is coming from a person that has had selfworth issues for a fat slice of her life. Getting over them was an huge part of my path and now that side of my work is over, I can say it made *everything* different. It changed me, my approach to problems.

    Of course that loving yourself doesn’t erase all material and immaterial problems from your life – only death can, since life is movement. You will get hurt, regardless of whether you love you or not. The difference is if you do love yourself, you will get up a lot faster after you fall and you will *actively* seek stuff that makes you happy.

  2. “Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of travel”

    No, you will never be 110% happy all of the time. There are always problems that come. But what is key is how you handle them. Despite my hardships, I am generally happy. Are there problems? Yes. Are there things that I wish were better? Yes. However, on the by and large, I am happy.

    Just like with elfkat above- I agree the life is about learning, but it’s also about living, and might as well live it up while you’re here.

    Not to be mean, but the above smacks of bitter. Bitter bitter stew. Not that that isn’t entirely justified from time to time 😛 – but at least see it for what it is. (Please please please don’t hate me for saying that :< But I call them like I see them )

    • It is bitter stew. I’ve been feeling this way since Tuesday or so and it’s finally come out as verbal vomit. I’ll get around to explaining the cause sooner or later… probably tomorrow.

  3. Pingback: My Bitter, Bitter Stew. | DON'T PANIC

  4. Pingback: My Bitter, Bitter Stew. | DON'T PANIC

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