I’m feeling rather unnerved at the moment.
Tonight, I spent the evening with TH over at his mother’s house. His mother owns a second house at the Cape and every June/July, they block it off from renters so that the entire family can spend July 4th down there. TH and I have never gone, not really being beach people but we send TS down with the rest of the family. It gives us a much need rest and relax, as well as time enough to act like idiots for a bit. (It gets it out of our systems, I guess.) So, TH has been spending his time predominantly at his mother’s house and with TS gone, I was pretty excited at the prospect of the house to myself. I could walk around naked (not that I would) and I could dance (which I might) without worrying about being stared at. I can pray, too, without having to explain to either TH and TS about what the fuck I’m doing. So, there’s an awesomely awesome reason, too, but right now… Yeah.
Earlier, after doing a blog entry that took more out of me than I had thought, I went outside for a break. It was that quasi-moment between dusk and full-blown dark. I love TH’s mother’s property for the wildness and yet cultivated feel of it. It’s a whimsical both. I was standing out front when I felt like I was being watched from the “road” that lines the property. (The city was initially going to pave a road down to the lake that TH’s parents’ house is on but never did anything with it besides put a sewer entry down in the back.) I turned but didn’t see anything since the trees were blocking out whatever light may have gotten in there. I chalked it off to feeling overwrought from what the hell I had worked on and left it at that. When I went out later, I felt even weirder. At one point, I FELT like someone was running out of the woods that line the property towards me for nefarious purposes, but when I turned to look… there was no one there.
I shook my head and just decided to ignore it. Nothing’s going on, right?
So, I packed up my stuff and told TH I was heading back to the house. I knew the dogs were probably freaking out and barking at every little thing, that they needed to go out, and wanted to know somebody was home with them. I’ve been pretty much out the door since I got up this morning. I had to get TS ready for the trip to the Cape, meet up with family members to drive him down, and take BFMA out for errands. After all of that, I spent the rest of my time over with TH. So, I started home. The ride was quiet and quick. Honestly? I don’t remember much of it. I felt like I was there and doing the stuff that I should be doing, but I also felt like I wasn’t there either. I had to keep checking my speedometer to make sure I really was going the speed limit – I felt like I was going a lot faster than 40 down the road. When I got home, I was creeped out already, but you know, it was doubled when I didn’t hear the dogs barking when I pulled in.
My car is, uh, not in good shape right now. It makes all manner of noise and is very distinctive. The dogs have associated the sounds with the family coming home. And they bark because they’re excited. I always yell on my way inside, “Jasmine, Sweet Pea! Shut up! We’re home already!” But tonight, there was nothing. Of course, it was late. Maybe they were sleeping, but my dogs are clockwork beings. They do the same shit all the time usually in regards to the same actions. They bark every time we come home and I’m used to it. So, I rushed into the house. I had all manner of horrible thoughts in my head. Sweet Pea was dead because of Jasmine. Someone had broken in and killed my dogs. Sweet Pea somehow managed to get herself into the bathtub and hurt herself this time. (She’s a tiny dog with issues in her back legs because of arthritis but she can still hop into a bin of dog food or, oddly enough, the bath tub.) So, I rushed into the house…
…and both dogs were there to greet me.
I noticed the mess they left me on the floor. I was not smart, apparently, and had left the door open to the bathroom and they had gotten into the trash. I tried to remember if I had closed the bathroom door, but all I could remember was that I was in a rush to get over to TH so
I could hop in the poolwe could spend quality time together. I went around the house and looked because it all just felt so weird, so wrong.
I didn’t see anything missing. The lock on the front door is still in place. Both of the bedroom doors were still closed, as I had left them from this mornings first adventures. But I found sand particles on the sink in the bathroom, a ring of water on the counter in the kitchen, some sand particles on the console table the TV is on, and a deck of my Oracle cards has been moved. I feel like someone was in my house, but the doors were locked. The only person who could get into my house is my landlord. The grass has been mowed, so maybe he came by to do that and stopped into my house? But wouldn’t he have to notify me? And I don’t know but it doesn’t feel… like someone I know was in my house. But it definitely feels like someone was here…
Now, I get to spend the rest of the night here, by myself. I hope I end up sleeping tonight.