So, I was pretty much doing the dieting thing (religiously) for about two months. In the last week or two, I stopped inputting my meals into the program on my phone. I wasn’t eating as much or at all for whatever reason. It didn’t seem worth it to find my phone, find out the calories, and obsess about how much I was or wasn’t eating. Shortly thereafter, I stopped walking. It was getting much too chilly outside to walk on a regular basis without the proper attire and even with the proper attire… It’s been incredibly bitter. So, I finally removed the program from my phone. It was taking up space on my SD card and phone and I wasn’t using it any longer. Why bother keeping it?
It isn’t that I don’t want to lose weight because I really do. I admit that I am the fattest heifer this side of the state. However, I’m so frustrated with the whole mentality, necessary, for dieting. I’m so focused on being down on myself and losing the weight so that I am healthier/look better that I hate myself. Well, not entirely, but fairly near there. And, call me crazy here, but I don’t really feel like that’s fair to myself.
I’ve been eating less, as I mentioned, so I’m hoping that will assist me in this continuing weight loss thing. My goal is, still, to lost about forty to fifty pounds. It’s just a matter of achieving it with less angst and more paying attention to what I’m ingesting at any given moment. I’ve cut myself down to three meals. My main meal is dinner and it’s not nearly as big as it used to be. I’ve noticed that I can’t pack away as much as I used to (thankfully), so at least my stomach has realigned itself to thinking itself smaller.
I’ve also begun to do exercises every morning. For Christmas, I had requested that I be given a DVD about ballet exercises, as a kind of “jog the memory” type of thing. I really wanted to add it to my daily regimen. I feel that in so doing, it will be more of a help than with just simply walking all over hell and creation. Ballet, after all, isn’t just about losing weight but also about doing daily exercise. And while walking so much in a day is also exercise, I prefer ballet steps to walking any day. It’s inside and it’s something I know. Besides, yay, ballet!!! The only thing is after doing some exercises this morning… Ick. I am so out of practice. Yikes.
The other thing is the TH bought me the game, Zumba, for the X-box Kinect. I had asked him, just before Christmas, if he had bought that for me. He said, “No,” with that worried look he gets when he realizes that he’s fucked something up. So, he ended up purchasing it for me after the fact. BFTX had mentioned that when she did it she burned pretty damn close to 500 calories in the time that she used it. So, I figured, why the hell not? I want to add this to my daily exercises, as well, although I’m not particularly sure on how that should work out.
I’m not much on exercising in front of others. I guess it’s the whole “poor body image” that gives me pause.
So, that’s where I am, currently, with my weight loss. I’m eating less, although I stopped drinking the copious amounts of water that I was taking in. (Must rectify!) I want to wake up in the mornings and immediately jump into my daily stretches from ballet, followed by a quick bout with the Zumba game. Hopefully, if I keep it up, things will improve and I’ll watch the weight melt off.